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Forest porn: The original source of free porn

Is free porn going to be banned?

Following the UK government’s Digital Economy Act, UK visitors will need to verify their age before being allowed access to online porn. Other countries may try and introduce similar measures. The implementation of this bill is a total mess and has had several delays already.

The mission of the act is to stop under 18s accessing pornography. It goes with out saying that the concept is correct but it’s unlikely to work as there are technical solutions that will circumvent any country based blocking / age verification systems. Under 18s will still find a way to access porn.

If you jump back 40+ years, before internet porn, pornography was in printed format. The porn mag was sold at virtually all news agents and access was governed by the shop owner who decided if you were old enough. Did this stop under 18s getting access to porn? No way, free porn was available in your local forest!

Any under 25s reading may now be saying, “WTF, have you lost your mind!”

Porn used to grow on trees!

Well, not quite but you could find it in forest, park, or other outdoor spaces. Hard to believe but in the 1980s you could be out on your BMX with your mates (that’s first time round BMX), performing the wildest skids and bunny hops only to catch a glimpse of a printed boob in the undergrowth.

Forest porn was often just fragments but some times like a historic archaeological dig you could find an entire artefact / treasure chest or in this case a magazine or even a ‘Stash’!

At Saucy Dates we surveyed a massive 14,076 people from around the world, aged 18 to 75 to find out:

  • How many people have found porn in a forest?
  • When was porn in a forest at its peak?
  • Any comments and stories about finding porn?

Before we thumb through the results in detail we have created an infographic to help you get up to speed quickly.

Forest porn infographic

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The year

1987 was the year that the forests had the most porn available for discovery. In the late eighties very few people had an internet connection. If you did have access you needed a lot of technical skills and download rates were so slow that it would take several minutes to download a single picture which you had no way to preview in advance. In those days your web browser was text only! Computer based porn was available on floppy disk for popular computers such as the Atari ST and Commadore Amiga. However, porn magazines were the main source of sauce.

Why was porn in the forest?

From our thousands of survey comments we gained some insight into who was leaving it and why.

S, aged 26, Dublin, Ireland:
I left it there, in the forest. It was my next door neighbour’s porn and I wasn't willing to keep on in my house

J, aged 25, Benson, United States:
I used to keep playboy and hustler in the woods

M, aged 26, Arcata, United States:
I was a teenager and stashed playboys and old videos in a tree stump down the trail, a little way outside our property line. Now that I think about it, I don't think that guy in the video was really a licensed plumber. He hardly ever worked on it . . .

Z, aged 43, Coventry, United Kingdom:
My girlfriend moved in so my porn had to move out. I bought some mags but also had a few forest finds! I like to recycle so I left them in the woods for someone else.

There seems to be two reasons:

  • People underage hiding it outside as they cannot risk it being found.
  • People passing their collection on anonymously for the next person to find it.

Many teenagers were finding their dad’s or friend’s parents collection of porn and then hiding it in the forest to return to at later dates. Other people were then finding it, taking it home or hiding it in a new location.

The countries

The international average of people finding porn in a forest/wood or other outdoor location was 37%.

Italians, Germans and French people have above average find rates.
Canadians, and the British have an average find rate.
South Africans, Australians, Americans and the Dutch have below average find rates.

People’s stories

Here are a collection of quotes from our survey participants.

J, aged 50, Plainsboro, United States:
Lol... a very random discovery. But an opportunity to stop, sit, drink some water and peruse a copy of 'Panties and Pussies'. Could never forget the name of the mag... ; )

D, aged 29, Columbus, United States:
I was with my girlfriend at the time, and we were going for a walk. We noticed the Porn laying on the floor near some trees along the path. She looked at it and then looked at me. We ended up having sex in the woods out of sight.

S, aged 44, Conway, United States:
I was taking a short cut through the woods on my way to play my saxophone in a talent show. That’s when I saw it. An old rolled up magazine. I was about to walk away when I saw a breast peaking out like hungry little eyes. How fortunate I felt on finding this kind of booty. I returned home with my fabulous treasure… but that’s another story.

T, aged 41, Newcastle Upon Tyne, United Kingdom:
Found some with my wife on a walk, hot summers day. We had a laugh and a flick through them, got horny and went into the trees and fucked.

Forest porn today

Vintage porn probably still exist in the great outdoors although it could be very decayed if it has been exposed to the elements. It probably means there are less weirdos in the woods today watching a pile of discarded porn (that they left) in order to watch a couple making out when then find it.

The future of porn

If the UK and other countries do block free porn access online what will happen?

  • Will we see a surge in porn magazine sales?
  • Will forest porn make a come back?
  • Will people be leaving CD-ROMS and memory sticks loaded with porn in the forest?

We think this is unlikely, porn and technology will always co-exist. Porn will likely remain free and open to everyone via VPN access. A Virtual Private Network (VPN) allows you to send your internet connection via middle man server to hide your IP address location. As long as there are countries not blocking porn then servers located in these countries will be used to access the sites for you. There are even browser developers building in VPN technology so you will need no technical skills, just use their browser and porn can be accessed. Online privacy has become a major focus in the past few years and IP address faking can be marketed as a good thing, but everyone really knows the main reason will be porn!

It makes a mockery of the government departments who have a genuine and moral obligation to under 18’s but no idea of technology. There are even staff members in local and national government using their work computer to access our adult dating site so you can also assume they watch porn at work also . . . for research reasons only of course!

How you can really block it

This has to be done at the device level. Here are some ideas:

Locked devices
Amazon make a children’s version of their Kindle Fire product that is locked down to a separate app store and no web browsing. A child can use this device unsupervised and cannot stumble upon inappropriate content. This idea would need to be scaled up for different age groups.

Screen monitoring
The device / operating system monitors the screen content and flags pornographic material. Image recognition software is capable to detect naked images. It could send an alert to the parent, who can then manage the situation with their child.

Summary

We will have to wait and see the outcome of the UK’s attempt at enforcing age verification. It’s going to be hard for any government minister to revoke the act as they will appear to be endorsing children accessing porn. Expect to see it come into force but with virtually no impact in limiting access.

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