Original Saucy Dates research · 5,024 respondents
Sex talk: what sounds and words do people like?
Moaning and dirty talk led the preferences in our survey of 5,024 dating network members. Men and women ranked all seven sound categories in the same order, but the percentages behind those rankings revealed some interesting differences.
Should you be vocal or enjoy the silence? Our original sex talk survey explored what people liked to hear during intimacy, what they definitely did not want to hear, and the words they reported using at climax. The aim was to take some of the pressure off a subject that can feel awkward to discuss.
The central message is still simple: it is good to talk about sex, as well as during sex. Use these findings to start a conversation with your partner, rather than feeling you need to put on a performance or copy somebody else.
Survey results · Infographic · What people like · Worst things to hear · Talking about preferences · FAQs
Do men and women like the same sex sounds?
In this survey, the order was identical: moaning first, followed by dirty talk, heavy breathing, screaming, swearing, squeaking and silence. However, agreeing on an order is not the same as everyone having the same preferences.
For example, 90.5% of men and 77.6% of women said they liked moaning. Dirty talk drew closer results, at 76.8% and 73.5%. Silence ranked last for both groups, but a higher proportion of women than men liked it. The numbers offer a starting point for discussion, not a rule for an individual partner.
Sex talk survey results: men’s and women’s preferences
We surveyed 5,024 members of our online dating networks internationally. The original report focused on heterosexual men and women. These figures describe what respondents liked to hear from a partner, rather than how often they made each sound themselves.
| What they say | Men like | Women like |
|---|---|---|
| Moan | 90.5% | 77.6% |
| Talk dirty | 76.8% | 73.5% |
| Heavy breathing | 60.1% | 45.9% |
| Scream | 51.4% | 36.2% |
| Swear | 38.6% | 31.2% |
| Squeak | 27.9% | 14.8% |
| Silence | 8.3% | 12.8% |
Original published percentages. These are separate preferences, not mutually exclusive shares of a single total. This is historical research from a dating network audience, not a new representative survey of everyone’s preferences.
The original sex talk infographic
Embed the sex talk infographic
Please credit Saucy Dates and link to this report so readers can find the original context.
What people liked to hear during sex
Moaning ranked first
Moaning had the strongest support in both groups: 90.5% of men and 77.6% of women. That is a difference of 12.9 percentage points, despite both groups placing it first. The original joke still stands: we mean sounds of enjoyment, not complaints about whose turn it is to put the bins out.
The useful takeaway is reassurance rather than an instruction to make more noise. A partner may appreciate audible feedback, but a quiet person should not feel obliged to imitate a louder one. Nor can a sound, on its own, tell you exactly how someone feels.
Dirty talk ranked second
76.8% of men and 73.5% of women liked dirty talk. It was one of the closest results between the groups, with a gap of just 3.3 percentage points. Roughly three in four respondents in each group liked the category, making it a natural subject to discuss with a partner.
However, “dirty talk” is a broad label. The results do not identify a phrase that everyone likes, or establish what each respondent understood the term to mean. Some people may enjoy direct language; others may find particular words uncomfortable. Asking about language beforehand is more useful than trying to memorise a script.
Heavy breathing divided opinion more
60.1% of men and 45.9% of women liked heavy breathing. Although it ranked third for both, fewer than half of the women surveyed selected it. That illustrates why the ranking and the percentage should be read together: third place does not mean a majority in both groups.
It also helps explain why copying a performance is not a reliable way to communicate. You do not need to deliberately change your breathing to match a survey preference.
Screaming was not a universal favourite
Screaming appealed to 51.4% of men and 36.2% of women. The original article treated this as one of the harder preferences to predict, and the figures support that message: it was far from universally popular.
Louder does not automatically mean better. Rather than assuming volume demonstrates enjoyment, let your partner tell you what feels natural and comfortable for them.
Swearing and dirty talk were different categories
Swearing was liked by 38.6% of men and 31.2% of women, substantially below the figures for dirty talk. This was one of the most interesting contrasts in the original report.
It suggests that the two labels were not interchangeable for respondents. It does not establish that every swear word is unwelcome, or that dirty talk must exclude them. The survey did not publish a breakdown of individual words, so the practical question remains which language your particular partner likes.
Squeaking ranked sixth
27.9% of men and 14.8% of women liked squeaking. It was among the less popular categories in both groups. Our original article joked that the bed should be the only thing squeaking, but there is no reason to become self conscious about an involuntary sound.
A preference survey is not a scorecard for someone’s body or reactions. Sharing a laugh can be more helpful than worrying that a spontaneous noise was the “wrong” one.
Silence ranked last, but some preferred it
8.3% of men and 12.8% of women liked silence. It was the only category with a higher percentage among women than men. While silence was the least popular option overall, those answers still represent people with a valid preference.
Quietness should not be treated as proof of disinterest, just as noise is not proof of consent. If you are unsure how a partner feels, ask rather than interpreting their volume.
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The worst things people reported hearing during sex
We also asked respondents about the worst thing someone had said during sex. The original report combined the responses into a top ten for each gender. Saying the wrong name came first on both lists; comparisons with former partners and unexpected interruptions also featured.
The lists below preserve the original responses, with minor punctuation corrections. They describe respondents’ reactions, rather than advice about what people should keep to themselves. Someone should always feel able to mention discomfort, stop, ask a question or explain that something is not working.
Worst things men reported hearing
- Saying the wrong name
- I need a poo
- What’s the time?
- Is that it?
- Get it over as quickly as possible
- Do you think your Mom has ever tried this position?
- What do you want for dinner tomorrow?
- You remind me of my dad . .
- You're a bit small
- What was your name again?
Worst things women reported hearing
- Saying the wrong name
- I can't do it
- I'm going soft
- Did you do this with your ex?
- What's your sister like?
- What should I do next?
- I don't love you
- I'm breaking up with you after this
- Can I call you mum?
- You're almost as good as my ex
The contrast between an awkward distraction and useful communication matters. Asking what a partner wants should not be discouraged simply because a similar question appeared in a negative account. Context, tone and the relationship between the people involved all make a difference.
What respondents said at climax
The final part of the original story looked at words reported at climax. The graphic below preserves that part of the research alongside the sound preference results. It records respondents’ answers rather than providing words to copy.
Use the results to talk about your own preferences
Our original suggestion was to show your partner this page and ask whether they agree. That is still a straightforward way to introduce the subject without making either person feel criticised. You might discover that a popular category means very different things to each of you.
Talk at a time when there is no pressure to perform. Discuss whether you prefer quietness, reassurance or more conversation, and whether any language is unwelcome. Leave space for uncertainty: someone may not have thought about their preferences before.
If you are getting to know a new partner, do not assume their answers will match a previous partner’s or the larger group in this survey. If you are in an established relationship, a change in preference is a reason for a conversation, not evidence of infidelity. The point is to understand each other better.
About the survey and its limits
The original study involved 5,024 members of our dating networks and focused on heterosexual men and women internationally. We have retained the published percentages, rankings, response lists and graphics.
The original article does not provide fieldwork dates, a gender by gender sample count, country breakdowns or detailed wording for every question. The findings should therefore be attributed to this survey audience. They do not establish preferences for all genders, sexualities or relationships, and the expanded article is not a claim that fresh research has been conducted.
Sex talk and sound preferences: frequently asked questions
What sound was most popular in the survey?
Moaning ranked first: 90.5% of men and 77.6% of women said they liked it. Dirty talk ranked second in both groups.
What percentage liked dirty talk?
76.8% of men and 73.5% of women in the original survey liked dirty talk. The results do not specify a phrase or type of language that everyone prefers.
Did men and women rank the sounds differently?
No. Both groups ranked the seven categories in the same order. The proportions liking each category differed, however, so the shared ranking does not mean identical preferences.
Is being quiet a problem?
No. Silence was the least popular category in this survey, but individual preferences vary. Talk to your partner about how you both communicate rather than feeling obliged to make noise.
Does dirty talk have to include swearing?
The survey treated dirty talk and swearing separately, and swearing received lower support. It does not define what language everyone should use; discuss preferred words and boundaries with your partner.
Share or reference the research
Journalists, writers and bloggers are welcome to reference these findings and the infographic. Please credit Saucy Dates’ survey of 5,024 dating network members and link to this page as the source. Keep the audience and historical context alongside the percentages. For further research enquiries, contact us.
More research on sex and relationships
Talking about preferences is different from assuming what a partner wants. Our men versus women relationship survey offers another perspective on reported honesty and behaviour between partners.
Explore how long sex lasts and what people expect, the world’s best and worst lovers survey, or our sex and relationships report. Browse more original findings on the Saucy Dates blog.