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Sex talk : What sounds and noises do people like?

Should you sound like a porn star or should you enjoy the silence?

We surveyed 5,024 members of our online dating networks to find what noises and words people liked to hear during sex. Get it right and it can improve your partners experience but get it wrong and it’s a total turn off that ruins the moment.

We hope these results take the pressure off you a little and give you a head start in making sure you’re making the right sounds and saying the right things.

Our survey focuses on straight males and females internationally.

The infographic below will help you get the results quickly, then we will discuss them in more detail.

Sex talk and sounds infographic

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Same but different

What was surprising as well as encouraging is that men and women liked the same sounds in the same order of preference. Brilliant, case closed, everyone likes the same!

HOWEVER, how many people liked each sound between genders varied and therefore makes it more of a challenge, especially for the men. Here are the results in more detail:

What they say Men like Women like
Moan 90.5% 77.6%
Talk dirty 76.8% 73.5%
Heavy breathing 60.1% 45.9%
Scream 51.4% 36.2%
Swear 38.6% 31.2%
Squeak 27.9% 14.8%
Silence 8.3% 12.8%

What people like to hear

The guys make it easy for the women. Over 90% of men like to hear moans. Just to be clear that's 'moans of passion', not 'you haven't put the bins out again!', whereas only 77.6% of women like their men to moan. That equates to 1 in 4 not liking it so good luck with that men!

Talk dirty
76.8% of men what to hear her talk dirty vs. 73.5% for women. May be best to plan some key phrases in advance so you don't have to come up with something on the spot. You're going to need a few so you don't have to repeat yourself. Be prepared for some replies and possibly some questions to answer. Cock it up and you both could end up laughing. This is certainly not easy to master but with 3 out of 4 people liking it you should practice.

Heavy breathing
Not a simple yes or no, 60.1% of men like it and only 45.9% of women. May be best to start with light breathing and see if he or she reacts positivity. Slow and steady!

Now things are getting more difficult to judge for the women, you have approximately a 50/50 chance that he will like you to scream. Men, at 36.2% you should probably not even consider screaming!

It's interesting to see such a difference between swearing and talking dirty. This suggests that talking dirty should not include swear words. However, some swear words are likely to be acceptable especially at the point of orgasm.

At 27.9% for men and 14.8% for woman it's best that no one squeaks. The only thing that should be squeaking is the bed but even that can be off putting sometimes!

Silence is the only response where the women prefer it over the men, however it's not very popular. May be okay if you're staying in the spare room at the in-laws but other than that, it's a no no.

Worst things to hear

We also asked respondents what's the worst thing someone has said during sex. We have combined all the responses to make a top 10 for each gender.

Worst things men hear
1. Saying the wrong name
2. I need a poo
3. Whats the time?
4. Is that it?
5. Get it over as quickly as possible
6. Do you think your Mom has ever tried this position?
7. What do you want for dinner tomorrow?
8. You remind me of my dad . .
9. You're a bit small
10. What was your name again?

Worst things women hear
1. Saying the wrong name
2. I can't do it
3. I'm going soft
4. Did you do this with your ex?
5. What's your sister like?
6. What should I do next ?
7. I don't love you
8. I'm breaking up with you after this
9. Can I call you mum?
10. You're almost as good as my ex

Orgasm words!

Finally, if you make all the right sounds and avoid the wrong words you will hopefully reach that orgasm moment. Here are the top things people say at climax.

What women say at orgasm


Hopefully you can feel a bit more confident when it comes to sex sounds and dirty talk? If you're single you can use your new found knowledge with your next partner with ease. However, it may be difficult if you're in a relationship as your current partner may question your sudden change of style. They may think you have been unfaithful and learnt some new tricks. Better still, you can show them this page and simply ask if they agree with the results. It's always good to talk about sex . . . . as well as talk during sex!

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